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- Name: Fishy McSlappinstein, sr.
- Location: Here Be Monsters US
| Total Posts | Last Post | Last Seen | Joined |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3173 | 03/22/09 17:18:32 | 07/01/09 15:34:42 | 11/09/05 |
| Visitors Now | Visitors Today | Most Visits | Total Visits |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | 0 | 15 02/27/09 |
96 |
My favorite sites
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What I've been up to...
| Title | Type | Date |
|---|---|---|
| Re: CEMETERY DANCE Road Trip!!! | Reply | 03/22/09 |
| Re: Things Pendergast Would Never Say - Part IV | Reply | 03/20/09 |
| Re: anti-RANTS (a little good news) | Reply | 03/20/09 |
| Re: Food | Reply | 03/20/09 |
| Re: anti-RANTS (a little good news) | Reply | 03/20/09 |
| Re: Speculation: Nooooooooooo!!! Say it isn't so! | Reply | 03/19/09 |
| Re: LOST - Season 5!!! | Reply | 03/19/09 |
| Re: Speculation: Nooooooooooo!!! Say it isn't so! | Reply | 03/19/09 |
| Re: LOST - Season 5!!! | Reply | 03/18/09 |
| Re: More Randomness!!!! | Reply | 03/18/09 |
Important Stuff
Sonnet 29
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.
- William Shakespeare
~~
~
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.
- William Shakespeare
~~
~
A little bit about me
I was born to a human mother who served for several years as a bounty hunter while disguised as a Volrupturian. She met my father on one of her missions to Ruulip, Volruptura’s sister planet, which is located in the neighboring galaxy QZ09. My father, a Volrupturian ex-pat wanted on the home planet for a series of incidents relating to fly fishing (the Volrupturians being a rather trout-like race, this was an activity tantamount to cannibalism), had taken refuge on Ruulip where they are much more open-minded about such things. She captured him, but on the transport back the ship was hijacked by the Jesse James of the day, the vicious, incongruously-named Victor Vincible. Thirty-three people were atomized, but my father helped Mom bring him down before any more were hurt. For his valor Dad was pardoned and the reward money he and Mom got for turning Vick in allowed them to buy an estate on Ruulip and settle down, and that’s where I eventually made my entrance on the universe.
When I was a small fry I had trouble hiding my human ancestry like my mother could – the fact I didn’t have four arms, gills, and chromatophoric skin was a problem, particularly as I kept ruining my disguise by pulling off the prosthetic arm and washing off the makeup. In spite of that my mother was somehow able to pass me off as a Volrupturian until I learned to keep up the ruse myself.
Fast forward 1,062 years (in Earth time that approximates to 17 years, which I understand is a difficult age no matter where you are) to when I “borrowed” my dad’s Starjumper Supernova for a joy ride and was pulled over on Intergalactic Route 66 for going 0.8 lyps. (Trust me, you don’t want to know what the fine is for going 80,039 mps over the limit in a planetary nursery zone.) Anyway, the long and short of it is that I was hauled in and the mandatory DNA scan immediately revealed my true heritage, and since human beings had been outlawed from pretty much every galaxy except for certain quarantined pockets in the Milky Way since that whole arrogant and benighted “Operation Universal Freedom” debacle, the jig was up.
In order to be able to stay on my home planet I faced summary eradication of my human genes, a procedure that isn’t without its risks: it can result in insanity, or worse, an accidental reverse extraction of Volrupturian DNA, in which case the subject is automatically deported and exiled to the nearest human-infested planet. Thankfully I came through the procedure with my sanity intact, but unfortunately the worst happened – I was rendered completely, 100% human. The nearest human planet happened to be Electra Magnus at the time, but as they managed to blow themselves to smithereens while I was en route I was subsequently shunted to Beringorm’s Folly #6, or “Earth”, as it is so ingeniously called by the natives, who I’ve found in general to be a few sprinkles short of a cupcake (even the more enlightened ones who believe in UFO’s and aliens). If you ask me, the way things are going here it won’t be long before Electra Magnus is replaced by a picture of Earth in the Volrupturan dictionary under the definition of FUBAR.
Anyway, that’s a little bit about me. What did you do to get stuck here?
